EP 42 : Avoid the Toxic Combination

What’s a very good and easy way to drive our team members crazy?

Easy.

You show that you have extremely high expectations in regards to their work AND you give them little or no control how to deliver towards those expectations.

There is a reason why I call this the ‘toxic combination’ and it is the topic of this article and related podcast.

We will dive deeper to understand what makes this combination so harmful and we will have a look at what can be done to counter it.

What makes Leaders great?

I have a regular activity in my workshops. I first ask the Leaders how many People Managers they themselves had until this point. Typically, I get a range from 2 to sometimes 10 or even 12 Leaders.

Then I ask them a follow-up question. ‘What’s the share of those Leaders who you would consider a GREAT Leader?’ In almost all cases, the typical answer is in the range of 1 out of 10.

It is at that moment that people start to notice something. They wonder, how they themselves would get on this list of Great Leaders.

I then explore with them what are the factors and what did the Leader specifically DO, so that they would be called a GREAT Leader.

One very common response is those Leaders ‘give space’. It’s a remarkable and simple description. This is the opposite of a Leader who has high expectations and then describes and forces in all detail what needs to happen and HOW people have to do their work.

What is that called? A Micro-Manager.

So how do we turn this insight into action?

First, I find it useful to remember Dan Pink’s clear ideas about what motivates people: Autonomy,

Mastery and Purpose.

These three things are deeply connected. Autonomy and Mastery go hand in hand with the motivation that purpose gives. Giving autonomy and sharing explicitly on the understanding of purpose are immense drivers to get people to become great in their work and deliver performance.

Second, how do we resolve the toxic combination?

Obviously, we seem to have two variables here: (1) the degree of expectations we set and the (2) amount of control we give. In our case, we focus on one variable only: improving the sense of control someone has.

Put simply, there is a powerful question any leader can ask themselves before an important interaction with a team member where they would pass down work: ‘Where can I give this person space here?’

The relationship here is simple: The more space you give, the more ownership you likely generate.

One important thing is that there is no black or white in this case. As Leaders we have to bring in certain things that are discussed. We want to deliver that need in a way that leaves space still.

How might that sound?

‘ I have two things that I would like to discuss today: 1 feedback on the management meeting last week and an idea how the stakeholder engagement could be improved. I don’t think those two things will take more than 10 of our 30 minutes. What is on your mind? How do you want to use our time?’

It is just one example how we can give necessary direction while keeping the maximum open space.

Listen to the podcast for an example from my own history where I feel into the exact toxic trap and what the impact was.