The Power of Exploring Words

Here's a simple tip to ask better questions: invite the other person to clarify what they mean by reflecting certain words they use. It really makes a difference.

Here's an Example:

Imagine someone says to you, "I really need to develop a new method to inspire my team. We've had some setbacks, and morale is low. Any suggestions?"

You could respond with questions like:

(when you read it, emphasize the bold words in your head)

"What do you mean by 'new method'?"

"What makes developing a 'new method' important to you?"

"What exactly means 'developing' a new method for you?"

"What qualifies as a 'method' in your eyes?"

"What kind of 'new' would make a real difference in your opinion?"

"When you talk about 'inspiring' your team, what's your aim?"

"You mentioned 'morale'—what kind of atmosphere are you hoping for?"

Why This is Useful:

People choose their words for a reason, even if it's not consciously done. These words serve as cues for us. Focusing on them allows you to ask meaningful questions that show you're really listening. This not only validates the other person but also builds trust. It benefits both parties: they feel understood, and you get a clearer understanding of the situation.

So which question to choose? It may not really matter. All of them go in the right direction and they help the other person build on their own understanding and go deeper. This is where your intuition as a coach also plays a good role.

What to Do Next:

The next time you're in a challenging conversation, pay close attention to the words that seem important to the other person. You'll be surprised at the insights you can gain just by being a bit more attentive.