The 3 reasons why bad habits are so ‘sticky’!
Bad habits stick due to availability, convenience, and immediate benefit. Partnering with someone as a coach can help break these patterns and achieve discipline.
Do you have bad habits?
Sure you do. I have them; you have them; your peers, boss, clients have them. We are habit machines!
Bad habits in particular tend to stick, because
1. They are very available and present (Fast food restaurants are everywhere!)
2. There is very little friction and LOTS of convenience in engaging in them (My phone/distraction source is always with me.)
3. There is an immediate benefit and a delayed cost (for good habits, it is usually reverse. Think of going to the gym to lose weight.)
These lead to some natural questions we can ask ourselves and others:
“What’s in your power to make yourself less available to the trigger of this bad habit?” (Addressing availability. For example, taking a different route to work, far away from fast food)
“How can you make it much harder and less convenient to step into this bad habit?” (Addressing lack of friction and convenience. Delete that App from your phone. Move that cookie jar high up and out of reach.)
“How can you make it more costly (or less beneficial) for yourself to engage in this bad habit?” (Addressing lack of immediate cost. Eating only very bitter chocolate. Require yourself to save $2 for every dollar spent on unnecessary clothes.)
Mastering Discipline with coach-like partnering!
Obviously, all this requires self-control and discipline. Here, it becomes so useful to involve *someone else* and let them ask you these questions in a coach-like way.
Why is that helpful? Well, by asking these questions, we invite someone to introduce friction deliberately, to help achieve a pattern interrupt, to break a bad habit. In those moments, we are vulnerable to fail and retreat to the default, to the easy.
Here’s how you can work with a partner in a coach-like way to help undo a bad habit:
Invite someone, ANYONE to ask these questions
Invite them to be really FIRM with you and insist on actual answers
Invite them to check in with you regularly (why not daily?) at least for a few, initial days.
And when YOU help someone this way, you are in a powerful role. In fact, you are coaching someone to be accountable. It’s a wonderful skill to have to offer.
I hope this helps! There will be more on this topic pretty soon!
Cheers, Maik