Managers think they are good at Coaching. Most are not (yet)

Managers think They’re Good at Coaching. They’re Not (at least yet).

As someone who helps Leaders develop effective coaching skills for a living, I could only nod at this very good article on HBR 3 days ago:

https://hbr.org/2018/08/managers-think-theyre-good-at-coaching-theyre-not

The essence?

“Managers tend to think they’re coaching when they’re actually just telling their employees what to do…[]…The biggest takeaway was the fact that, when initially asked to coach, many managers instead demonstrated a form of consulting. Essentially, they simply provided the other person with advice or a solution. We regularly heard comments like, “First you do this” or “Why don’t you do this?”

Coaching means having full trust that the other person can develop their own solutions. It’s a special kind of conversation that can and has to be learned first. It is distinctly different from advising and consulting.

It also reflects reality when in Leader Coaching workshops, people come to me afterward and say ‘Now I know that even after 20 years in this job, I have not actually coached yet.’

Does this mean that advising and consulting are bad? By no means. The finding in the article showcases the comfort and justifiable pride that most Leaders have when they solve problems and issues. What we suggest is not to switch completely to coaching conversations; this is unrealistic.

Rather, our goal is to help Leaders find the right balance between different conversation styles, such as Coaching, Direction, Consulting and Mentoring. All styles are required and useful in typical organizational settings, yet effective coaching still actually happens the least!

It is a long road and the research also confirms that many Leaders are encouraged by their growing self-awareness to dive deep and learn the Coaching skills, no matter how far they are in their career at that point.