Watch out for that judgment

A few years ago. I coach a parent. I ask what's on her mind. She says with a neutral face: "My son just dropped out of university."

I feel the immediate urge to say "I am sorry to hear that".

But training kicks in and stops me. Instead, I manage to ask "How do you process that?"

The reply was a genuine surprise in the moment: "I feel at peace. He saw it coming."

Lesson learned: I was about to impose my framing. A small moment, but big  for me! I still remember that moment, years later!