Keep the right kind of friction!

Maybe you've heard about this one viral quote more than a year ago:

"I want AI to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for AI to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes."

— Joanna Maciejewska, March 29, 2024

It gave me a good laugh. And there's plenty of truth in it. AI promises to make everything easier - especially human communication, if you let it. After all, these tools are trained on our (human) words.

But here's the paradox: the very friction we're trying to eliminate is what builds genuine relationships and expertise.

I use a CRM that nudges me to connect with people at the right times. But I decided that I will never let it write my words. I use AI tools to dictate and help me when I am stuck, but outsourcing the effort of crafting my own message? That's where I draw the line.

It relates to a concept I learned about: The 'Dunbar' number. Typical humans can maintain about 150 meaningful relationships. What's the use of maintaining 'deep' relationships with 1000 people? If you can't remember what you communicated, I would argue it was not truly yours to begin with!

For relationships to be meaningful, we have to actually experience them. And that takes time. It takes human pace. It involves the right kind of friction. When we outsource relating, we avoid the very struggle that creates connection!

Wish you a great time relating in the coming week!