Hold back your 2 cents. ACKNOWLEDGE first!

In this newsletter, we look at a few ways to acknowledge others after they spoke!

Hey 👋

Do you find it hard to hold back your opinion or solution for someone's problem, especially when you 'know' you are right?

The thing is..

Having good advice does not automatically make people listen to you.

It is quite the contrary.

If you steamroll people with your contributions, people usually take you less seriously. They may even reject your suggestion outright.

Why?

People want to feel heard by you first, before they are ready to open up and consider what you have to say. Show first that that you acknowledge them.

So here's a tip.

When someone shares about a problem they have, ACKNOWLEDGE them first BEFORE you ask or share anything yourself.

How?

Here's a simple mnemonic to help you remember different flavours of acknowledgement: ABCDEF.

Note: You will see those options overlap in meaning. The mnemonic gives us some variety. Usually, using 1 way to acknowledge is good enough. What matters is that you do it in the first place and that you mean it.

A = Achievement ("Congrats, on the progress you already made!")B = Boldness ("Bringing this topic forward was surely not easy.")C = Commitment ("I can tell how committed you are to make progress.")D = Determination ("I can sense your determination to overcome this.")E = Effort ("I can see that you already put a lot of thinking into this.")

F = Focus ("There is so much focus visible in the way to speak and share.")

But there's one more:

The simplest possible acknowledgement starts with a "T":

"THANK YOU for sharing this with me. I really value that."

This is especially important when the other person took some risk to bring a challenge up and expose vulnerability. We want to honour that.

Closing words:

The acknowledgments work when you deliver them with gravitas and focus.

Don't turn them into rhetoric statements...'smootheners' like 'How are you'. Make them land and unfold their effect. Mean it!

And:

If you feel that acknowledging like this is unnecessary and feels 'fake', then you will likely benefit the most by doing lots more of it. It will surprise you how hard it is to overdo it!

Questions?

Let me know:)

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