Good coaching is not about questions, but…

What If good coaching were only about good questions?

It would imply that..

The more good questions I know, the better my coaching gets.

There’s a set of universal questions that I can learn and remember.

I should buy a book of good coaching questions and memorise them.

Here’s the thing. The starting point for good coaching is NOT about finding good questions.

Instead, the starting point for good coaching is good questionING.

There is a vital difference. Good QuestionING is about:

mastering the process of asking, which depends on the ability to listen

learning to form powerful questions, based on what heard

asking questions that are as unique as the person in front of you

My point is this: Focusing on questions becomes a ‘checklist’ quickly. It can turn into coaching that feels ‘scripted’, predictable and hollow. ANYone can pick up a a list of questions and ask them to another person. It does not require any skill and is not what coaching is about. To a coachee, this can feel like becoming mere ‘input’ and subject to a process.

Good coaching means that I react to the person in front of me. I build my questions based on

what I see, what is said and NOT said. I make use of my coachee’s exact words, expressions and metaphors. I customise relentlessly to display that I am responsive to the other human.

I want to leave you with a more thought-provoking idea:

Good coaching leads to questions that have likely NEVER been asked before by any human in history.

Think about it: You combine an already rare coach-like inquiry with the exact words and expressions from the other person in front of you. The resulting question becomes as unique as the situation that you are in.

My question to you: Are you still just asking questions or are you practicing powerful questionING?