Ask a truly unique question!

How good are you at asking really powerful questions? You know…those questions that make people think and that show that you actively listened?

In my workshops, I sometimes give people a fun challenge: “Ask your neighbor a question that likely has never been asked before by anyone in mankind!“

Granted, no one can prove that, but it is the direction towards it that counts. It triggers a mindset that puts care into the question.

➡️ CRAFTING A UNIQUE QUESTION

Here’s how to do it. It’s actually quite easy:

⚈ Use special context and language familiar only to you and the other person.

⚈ Use the person’s name.

⚈ Use a unique place or time.

Doing this has a great effect. It drives us away from overly “template-style” questions. Customized questions, on the other hand, are a signal of care.

➡️ ONE EXAMPLE

Imagine your colleague Jim at ACME company tells you in frustration: “I am stuck in my career in this company. I have done the same role for practically the last 10 years here. How can I break out of this?“

A template-style boring question would be: “Ok, so what do you need to do differently?” In fact, Jim might not like this question. It somewhat trivialises his previous efforts, if we imply there is a simple way to change things.

Instead, a unique coach-like question might be:

“Jim, I wonder what exactly you mean by ‘breaking out’ of that 10-year long series of similar finance roles at ACME?“

This is amazingly customized. How likely is it that this combination of words was ever uttered before by anyone in mankind?

➡️ SUMMARY

Striving towards a truly unique question is one way to give more attention to the quality of our questions, and it can be a fun exercise.

I want to be clear: this can lead to longer questions that are not necessarily better. However, this little exercise likely prompts you in a very productive direction!