Are all emotions ok?
Emotions just ARE, but expressing them differs. Validating feelings doesn't condone bad behavior. Separate emotion from expression for healthy control.
"Maik, there are NO better or worse emotions", my mentor had said. (I saw myself frown and I felt disagreement rising within me. What about jealousy or anger, for example?). Then he added: "Emotions just ARE. But, there are certainly better and worse ways to EXPRESS them."
I still remember how my penny had dropped then.
Of course.
Emotions just ARE human nature. However, this does not mean we are destined to turn an emerging feeling of anger into passive or active agression, for example.
I have since shared this insight not only with countless clients, but also my own 4 children. It gave me a way to validate someone's feelings (yes, it's ok to have them), without necessarily agreeing with bad behaviors (shouting someone down is not ok).
The next step, of course, is to help the other person express their emotions differently. The good thing is, for most emotionally healthy people, this is entirely within their area of control.
So, separate the emotion from the emotional expression! It's a fantastic way to start with healthy acceptance and working on something we can control!
Wish you an emotionally 'sane' week ahead!
And to those who celebrate it, Happy Lunar New Year. The year of the Dragon just started! 🐉