You are Wrong!
A tip to avoid unnecessary escalations: Instead of saying "I think you are wrong," try "I have a different view here. Can I please explain?"
The predictable effect?
It comes across as a personal attack to their intelligence, status, even identity.
It stings. Why? We suggest that we know a truth about them (what is right or wrong) that they don’t know themselves.
Here’s an alternative:
“I have a different view here. Can I please explain?”
Here, we accept the other person’s view as true for them. We don’t start the debate by justifying a snap conclusion. Instead, we offer dialogue. We explain and understand, rather than convince and persuade. It’s much more likely that a constructive debate follows.
Does it work in all cases? No. Constructive debate is reciprocal. However, respecting the other person’s starting point in a debate is in OUR control.
It takes humility to have strong opinions, loosely held.
Btw, this is also a simple example how a trained Coach can lead with a neutral, centred approach, seeking to understand first in order to make better decisions. It’s a tiny example from the vast
Leader Coaching toolkit that I teach!
I am currently looking for up to 5-10 people to join the 5th Leader Academy Cohort (68h, global, online) that starts in August 2022.
Are you curious? Just hit ‘reply’ and write ‘tell me more’ 🙂
Have a great, productive week ahead!