The most important type of meeting you have

As a manager, I've made my fair share of mistakes, but looking back, the worst one was delaying or skipping my 1:1s with team members. I used to have "good" excuses, like something important and urgent that required my attention. Deep down, though, I thought I was too busy for regular check-ins with my team. In hindsight, I realize how much damage it caused. I fit 1:1s around my other work, but I now know I had it upside down and wish I could turn back time.

To quote Steven G. Rogelberg, a management professor at UNC Charlotte and author of The Surprising Science of Meetings, "The best managers recognize that 1:1s are not an add-on to their role—they are foundational to it. Those who fully embrace these meetings as the place where leadership happens can make their teams’ day-to-day output better and more efficient, build trust and psychological safety, and improve employees’ experiences, motivation, and engagement."

I could not agree more.

From this experience, I learned some key lessons:

1. Regular 1:1s are the bedrock for trust and communication with my team. Skipping regularly will slowly destroy the connection.

2. I make 1:1s a non-negotiable part of my schedule and fit other meetings around them. This sends a message to my team that I value them.

3. My consistency in running 1:1s directly impacts engagement, productivity, and retention. As a manager, I am the most important connection point between my team and the organization.

4. Missing one 1-1 may be no big deal. It happens and is ok. But missing 3 in a row sends a message of ‘It’s not important to me’, however valid my individual reasons may be.

5. Finally, every 1:1 presents coachable moments, where I can strengthen team members' feelings of ownership and motivation. 1-1s are a prime opportunity to fully use the professional-level coaching skills that I teach in my IntelliCoach PRO program.

In summary, my learning is clear: as a People Manager, my prime job is to support and empower my team. My 1:1s with team members are the most important vehicle for achieving that. I know that now and I will work hard to convey this message to any Leader I meet.

What’s your experience with missing 1-1s?