We can stop Conversations Drifting with an 'hourglass' flow!

Conversations or even just a 1-on-1's at work can feel quite directionless? I think we all experience that. You talk, they talk, but you drift away from the main point, and clarity feels miles away? What did we come here for again?

I find it helpful to think about the flow of a great coaching conversation like an hourglass. It starts wide (exploring possible range of topics to be discussed), narrows down (to agree), and then potentially widens again (to explore) before focusing on action.

Here’s how it works:

1️⃣ Wide: Start broader. Use more open-ended questions ("What's on your mind?", "Tell me more about that...", "What makes this important?", "What specifically needs to happen in this meeting?") to explore the topic, gather context, and understand the landscape.

2️⃣ Narrow: Once you have a sense of the terrain, start focusing. Use clarifying questions and closed questions ("So, the key issue is X?", "Between A and B, which feels more urgent right now?", "What's the one thing you want to achieve?") to pinpoint the core challenge and/or goal of the conversation.

3️⃣ Wide: Now we explore, discuss, review, based on the agreement and clarity in step 2. This is the explorative, but focused core of the conversation.

4️⃣ Narrow: Finally, narrow right down to action and commitment ("What's your next step?", "What will you commit to doing?").

This isn't a rigid script, of course! But visualizing an 'hourglass' (actually multiple here) helps guide the conversation purposefully. We explore enough to understand, but then we focus enough to make progress. It respects the complexity and drives towards an outcome.

❓Quick Thought: Think about your recent important conversations. Did they follow an hourglass flow, or did they tend to stay wide and drift, or maybe jump too quickly to a narrow solution? What could you try differently next time?

Have a great week ahead!