Are they uncoachable, or just not ready?

I was in a session last week where a manager, frustrated with a team member, said, "He's just not coachable. I've tried everything."

It's a phrase I hear a lot, and it got me thinking. We often talk about "coachability" as if it's a fixed personality trait - some people have it, and some people don't. But what if we're looking at it all wrong?

What if coachability isn't a personality trait at all, but mostly a situation?

The lightbulb moment for me is that no one is uncoachable all the time, about everything. Instead, their readiness to be coached depends on a few key factors:

The Topic: A team member might be open to coaching on project management but completely closed off to feedback about their communication style.

The Timing: Someone going through a tough personal time might not have the capacity for developmental conversations, even if they're usually open to them.

The Trust: The level of trust and psychological safety in the relationship is huge. Without it, even the most well-intentioned coaching will be met with resistance.

The Chemistry: Some people are coachable, but just not by you.

Instead of labeling someone as "uncoachable," a more effective approach is to ask, "What are the conditions that would make this person open to coaching right now?" It shifts the focus from a final judgment to a curious exploration.

When we see coachability as situational, it opens up new possibilities for us as leaders. We can work to create the right conditions, build trust, and choose the right moments to have those important developmental conversations.

So, the next time you find yourself thinking someone is "uncoachable," I invite you to pause and ask yourself: what might be the situational factors at play here?