"Mistakes were made" 🤷

Four words. Zero owner. It's the corporate cousin of "I'm sorry you feel that way", and both belong to a family worth knowing: the non-apology.

A non-apology is a sentence that looks like remorse but does the opposite job. It shields the speaker and quietly relocates the problem onto you. So you walk away carrying two things: the original hurt, plus the odd new sense that you were too sensitive to begin with.

The damage isn't the missing "sorry." It's that second injury. A real apology closes a loop. A fake one reopens it - and hands you the blame for the mess.

The whole difference often lives in one grammar choice:

Fake: "I'm sorry you took it that way." (subject: you)

Real: "I was wrong to say that. I'll be more careful." (subject: I)

That's it. The honest version puts the speaker on the hook. The fake one puts you on trial.

Here's what I personally believe: owning a mistake plainly - no "if," no "but," no passive voice - is one of the most underrated moves in leadership. It costs a little pride and earns a lot of trust.

So next time it's your turn to say sorry, run the small test: is the subject of your sentence "I" - or "you"?